Andy Scheffler gets up close and in the passenger's seat with Todd Kerns (Age Of Electric, Static In Stereo).

Through the light morning haze, the small silhouette of Regina began to appear. This leg of the journey was nearing its end. Just in time to, I was beginning to phase out a bit after three hours of sleep over the prior 48 hours. We rolled into the city at around nine in the morning, dragged our weary bodies into the hotel lobby, and discovered that, due to our exceptionally quick drive time and early arrival, only one of the three rooms was available. We took it, dragged the guitars upstairs, and all crashed out on two beds for a few hours.

Around five, Kerns and I got ourselves together and met Swart and Squid for soundcheck at The State. On the way, they picked up a KISS comic book and some crappy "real" food at a 7-11. Always a mistake buying anything besides, say, chips at a convenience store. Everyone felt a bit off afterwards. The soundcheck went as well as a soundcheck can be expected to go. It was quite swift, actually. The club was a typical rock club. For you Vancouverites who will actually know what I'm talking about, it sort of reminded me of a cross between the size and vibe of the Starfish Room, with the general layout of Richard's (with the balcony and all). I recall the sound initially as being excessively bassy and tinny as hell, but it all got fixed in short order. Made me cringe at first though. And for some reason, I got chills when they broke into I Don't Mind. Realization hitting home? A mile-marker for me? A bit of both I suppose, as that song is one of the first I recall from my turnaround days into the world of rock. Kerns' voice is really quite exceptional. There are a lot of very distinct voices on the Canadian rock circuit, but Kerns' is definitively RAWK. It's great, it's emotional, powerful, and somehow haunting. It has a strained, gravelly strength that can knock you on your ass. It was one of the first things that hooked me about AOE, and remains a favourite.

And may I reiterate that I cannot believe how many bugs there are in the prairies. The grasshoppers! I thought Kelowna was bad, but the ones here are quite large, they hop around into buildings whenever you open a door, and they have no qualms at all about hopping onto your shoulder to hitch a ride. Freeloading bastards.

The time between soundcheck and the show was pretty low-key. We sat around and watched sit-coms and music programs between slowly getting ready. Who here has not seen those irritating Buck-A-Day computer commercials? Consider yourselves blessed, for it is the most horrifying insult to the entire world of commercial jingles ever. So of course, during this downtime, the commercial shows up roughly 8,000 times. Kerns mused that perhaps he should cover it at the show. After coming back from a phone call, I noticed that the ceiling in the elevator was mirrored (…), and also noticed that the angle of view when one looks directly up into it is extremely flattering (…). Photographer's mind reeling, I burst back into the hotel room and informed Kerns that I needed to take a shot of him in the elevator at some point. That happened a little while later, and you can see the result. Shiny rock duds, freshly-coiffed hair, and a few phone calls later, and we were off.

We stopped at good ol' McDonald's for dinner. I had just dined at the Mr. Sub in the hotel building (remind me to never eat there again), and so only indulged in a drink here. Oh the high-end touring lifestyle. Todd ran into a girl he knew there who ended up at the show with a bigass video camera. Squid got reprimanded by an irate McDonald's worker who told him that he was really supposed to pay for his little packets of McChicken sauce. Lady, it's not our fault you work in a McDonald's in Regina. Don't take out your troubles on your patrons. I then was treated to a demo of the creation of Swart's patented fry-burger. Perhaps he should open a restaurant.

We got to the venue at around 11:30 or so. Turns out the two opening bands are Vancouver-based indie kids who I've photographed before. What an odd coincidence. No one in our little entourage had known who was opening, so this was a bit of a shock for me when I walked into the room to see those familiar faces on stage. The Hoodwinks and The Accident were touring together, which makes an awful lot of sense, and I suppose weren't exactly expecting to end up on a bill with Todd Kerns. And they didn't seem to be too pleased about it. Not helping the fact was that the crowd, sparse as it was, didn't seem to have much patience for this arty noise rock stuff and just wanted to see Todd. And they were being very vocal about it. The Hoodwinks put on a fun set. I like them a lot. The Accident had already played, which is a shame, but how was I to know?

As I was standing around at the back of the room watching this performance, Kerns strolled by and leaned down to me to say, "It's like this every time we play in Regina." He was referring to the ridiculously small crowd that was hovering around under the balcony. Just before the set, I walked to the back lounge area where the band was seeking some refuge on worn sofas and cheap plastic lawn chairs. Swart called me over to him and asked if I wouldn't mind videotaping some of the performance. He had bought a digital camera before the tour and wanted to get a few minutes of each set on tape. I agreed, and he showed me a few of the features. Nifty little contraption.

Soon enough, the show began. I was able to request the lights I wanted for the gig. It didn't help much, as the club was pretty darn dark, but it felt nice to have control. The whole time, I had been thinking, "oh, people will show up in time for this set. Come on, this is Todd Kerns we're talking about!" But no one showed up. It was simply ludicrous. Even in the face of such adversity, Kerns and crew put on a great show. They quite publicly looked at it as a rehearsal for the rest of the tour, and really gave it their all. Squid sorta hung in the shadows, which was bordering on creepy at times, and Swart was neat to watch. I had forgotten what a fun drummer he is, as I had seen him play a couple of times years ago with Following Horus. Kerns is a flurry of energy. He makes good use of his stage space, tosses his thick, black locks around his face, purses those famously pouty lips, and tosses in the occasional high rock kick for good measure.

I alternated between the digicam and my camera for the whole set, until the batteries died on the digicam. I had a ton of fun with the video thing, and I hope I get to do that again! The only thing that really bothered me was this incredibly ill-placed pole that's a couple feet from the front of the stage. I kept smashing into it while trying to look through various viewfinders. Who's bright idea was that? There has to be a better way to hold the roof up in that place. Apparently the stage used to be tucked away under one side of the balcony. So this is at least an improvement, but nonetheless… And not until the last quarter of the set or so did a mere three girls come out and start dancing on the floor. Argh!

At one point between tunes, Kerns held his guitar aloft and stated simply, "If any of you out there have a guitar, just know that mine is better. I'm not trying to gloat; I'm just stating a fact." His guitar sounds great. No arguments there. The set was a hodgepodge of material from his musical history. All chapters were touched on, from Age of Electric, to Static In Stereo, to a bunch of good old rock covers, to, of course, some of his new solo material. And in the middle of the set he even pointed out that I was there with them from Vancouver to photograph the show, before making sure that I wasn't getting any shots of stuff up their noses.

The Flying V made an appearance in the encore, at which point the guys were joined onstage by a fellow named Kyle Botcher, from a Regina band called Parlor Trixx. An old friend of Kerns', and donning an AOE shirt, they did a KISS song together. On that happy-fun note, after approximately an hour, the show was over.

After a pretty quick load-out, Kerns made the rounds to the stragglers in the club, catching up with old friends. Swart and Squid were engaged in a conversation about how many beers they could snag from the bar to take back to the hotel, and were soon joined by a couple of girls who were waiting for Kerns to finish up his conversation at the back of the room. I had planned a little group shot, but by the time I managed to get everyone in the same place, the club had turned off the light I needed to really make it work. So, as we filed out to the van, I attempted the shot under a sickly orange light in the back alley behind the club. After that, me, the band, and the two gals, who were friends of Kerns' as well, headed back to the hotel with an armload of beer.

Get to the hotel, grab the guitars, pile into elevator. We wandered upstairs to the post-show gathering. My Swordfish bottle opener, always hanging from the beltloop of my pants, came in handy with the Coronas that night. We lounged around on the beds, listening to music pumping out of Swart's tinny computer speaker (attached to his discman), and watching Jimmy Eat World and 30 Seconds To Mars on TV. We also looked over the video I shot that night. Despite the sound pickup being really shoddy on that sort of camera, it's really not too bad considering it was my first time ever even holding a video device! I was quite pleased. I have to make sure I get a copy of this thing. "My First Video." Alas, before too long, the beer was gone, the people were getting sleepy, and Squid was kicking us out of his room.

The next morning (okay, okay, afternoon), we all gathered ourselves together, had a lovely breakfast (okay, okay, lunch) at Humpty's and then the guys dropped me off at the bus station. It was quite the undertaking for me for just one show, but it was more than worth it for the experience, and for the escape from my "Vancouver routine" for a few days. Todd Kerns is truly in the spirit of rock, and is a stellar character to boot. Everyone should be happy that he's keeping busy and keeping himself out there for the masses. And yeah, go see him play whenever you can. It's worth it.

Don't forget to check out the PHOTOS!

Read more of Andy's Regina Bound Excursion with Todd Kerns here:
http://members.tripod.com/reginabound

-Andy Scheffler
www.members.tripod.com/andydesign